Last week we gave Heidi the "OK" to do the inevitable.
Sell my pony. :(
A woman came out to look at him two days ago. (In -16 degree weather, -29 with windchill). She liked him. Heidi said in her email that she is a good rider, and she can see them making a good pair. She will be coming out again.
A week.
I expected this to take a few months at the least.
So I would still have some time with him....
Maybe the faster the better? So I can move on quicker? I wish I didn't have to. But it is better for him, and for me, in the long term.
Its so hard. so SO hard. He is MY pony :(. He gets perky when he sees ME coming. :(
Its so extremely saddening.
Ive wondered before if I have some sort of depression. Because some nights/days I have absolutely no motivation to get out of bed, and I'm overcome with the deepest... sadness and....SADNESS. Often for no reason, or very little reason. Sometimes I will just break down and cry and when somebody asks what is wrong, my response is , "i don't know" .
But I can't diagnose myself with all of these sad things going on.
And of course, all this has to occur the week before exams. Isn't that peachy?
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